Hi Reader

I haven’t been in your inbox for nearly three weeks, and this email’s a little different, so bear with me...

We’ve all heard of the fight or flight response, right? But did you know there are other ways the nervous system can react? Like freeze, fawn and flop.

And depending on the situation, your response can change.

I always saw myself as a fighter: someone who gets back up, keeps going and takes the next step. But lately? I’ve realised I’ve been in freeze mode for months. And it's exhausting.

The trigger? I can trace it back to losing one of our biggest clients. Unexpectedly. And with a not so insignificant unpaid invoice thrown in for good measure. Not ideal, but manageable.

Except it wasn’t just that.

There were smaller niggles too. No singular, catastrophic thing, but I think many of us are feeling that business is just that bit harder at the moment. Definitely reflective of the economic landscape - but nothing major.

So why has my nervous system felt completely wrecked?

Honestly? I’ve felt out of alignment with what I’ve been doing. The best way I can describe it is like I’ve been slowly suffocating.

The original plan was to build a team to run the agency day-to-day so I didn’t have to. And that worked... until it didn’t. When that big client disappeared, I got pulled right back into the weeds. And suddenly, I couldn’t do it anymore.

I froze.

Not the kind of freeze where you take a breather and regroup. I mean full-blown stuck. Mind racing. Constant noise. Trying to figure out the next move with zero clarity. Paralysed by ideas, fears, what-ifs and frustration.

This isn't just overthinking. It’s like being trapped in a dark tunnel, trying to navigate your way out, while someone shouts “DANGER” in your ear on loop. It's disorienting.

Ironically, it’s also my brain trying to protect me. But all it's done is keep me in a high-stress state. Which, by the way, isn’t helping my attempts to shift a few pounds. Cortisol for the win, I mean 🙈

Lately I’ve been breathing deep (a lot), trying to tune in. When I can drown out the noise, I know what I need to do. But somehow... I’m still frozen.

But today, I woke up and decided enough is enough. I’m pushing past that heavy, suffocating feeling between my chest and throat and interrupting the pattern.

And here it is:
​I’ve built a business I simply don’t love.

There. I said it.
And what an anti-climax that was.

This is totally a first world problem. But maybe, in saying it out loud, it helps someone else recognise the moment they froze too.

I know what I need to do next.
And it isn’t this.

In fact, I’m doing a 360 and going back to what I started three years ago.
Something I’m incredibly passionate about.
Something where I can make a real difference.

And if you’re a current client reading this - don’t worry. You’re not going anywhere. This shift is about realignment, not walking away.

I’ll share more in the coming days.

But for now... if any of this resonates, feel free to hit reply. I’d love to know if you’ve ever found yourself in this kind of freeze too.

Thanks for reading, and for holding space for a very real human moment in this AI world.

💜 Toni